How to Identify a Toxic Friendship | Loren's World

We’ve all been there. And it’s a terrible place to be. Second guessing a friendship is a painful thing to come to terms with. But if you’re having doubts about the strength of your relationship, that might be a sign in itself. Friendship should be a mutually beneficial and enriching bond, something that helps both individuals grow, offers each other support, and has only the best intentions at heart. There is no place in a good friendship for jealousy, abuse and manipulation.

If basic interactions are leaving you feeling drained, it may be time to put this so-called friendship to the test. If you think you may be in a one-sided situation, check out the list below and see how well it applies to your current circumstances. The healthiest solution may be to walk away from a friendship that no longer serves you.

How to Identify a Toxic Friendship

  • You’re always defending her actions to others: This is a clear sign that your “friend” is acting in a less-than-desirable way. Positive actions never need explaining.
  • You have to work around her schedule: There should be consideration when making plans and they should work around both your schedules.
  • She’s always putting you down: This should never happen. There is no excuse for being accepting of this kind of behavior. Verbal and emotional abuse is a deal-breaker on all accounts.
  • You’re not able to count on her: Does this friend leave you hanging when she says she’ll meet you? Is she always too busy to help you or talk to you when you’re in need? She may not be as interested in caring for your relationship.
  • She’s not supportive of you: Rather than encouraging you to reach your full potential, this person may only feel threatened and jealous of your successes. Keep a keen eye for a friend who will not be supportive of you in both good and bad situations. They may not have your best interest at heart.
  • She diffuses your big moments: Does it feel like you can’t celebrate your victories and special moments because your friend will somehow find a way to make it about her? Or will she only question and find the bad in your good moments? If she can’t be happy for you, walk away.
  • She makes you feel bad about yourself: This is a big one. If someone is shaming you or making you feel like you’re not enough, it’s time to let the relationship go. A friend will always be honest with you and tell you the truth even if you don’t want to hear it. But they will never make you feel bad about yourself – and that’s a BIG difference.


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